Disintegration
by Cataclysmic Eclipse
Summary: A scream was enough to send Kratos' senses reeling and fear flood through his veins. Pre-game. Kranna.


_A/N: Not sure what I think of this one, it's kinda...weird. Guess it's fitting that this is released a bit before Halloween. Named this after a song by The Cure for some reason. Just a note,__ if anyone's a little bit squeamish then you might not want to read this, it does revolve around an adult issue. It's also under horror because said issue is frightening.  
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_Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia.  
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_Disintegration_

The beauty of the night escaped Kratos as he sat leaning against an oak tree within a forest whose name he did not care to recall. He was transfixed by the fire that was in constant motion in front of him, as the yellows were consumed by the oranges and reds and all of which danced in vain towards the sky. It was odd. He had never noticed the simple beauty of the fire before and if he had it had been far too long for his recollection. Perhaps it was Anna's influence that was making him appreciate such things again. He did not realize how much he had missed before. A sharp, piercing scream streamed throughout the forest and broke his train of thought. It was something that sent thrills of horror through his being.

It was Anna's scream.

Kratos rose and unsheathed his sword in quick, reflexive movements. His eyes scanned the fireside of their makeshift camp, and where Anna had fallen asleep but there was nothing left there save her bedrolls. Fool! How could he have let her slip by his senses undetected? An unorthodox panic and anger uncoiled in his stomach and spread through his body like a virus as he looked throughout the forest and searched for footprints, a cracked twig, anything that could lead him to her.

He finally found her. Kratos felt slight relief flood through him at seeing her unharmed yet he cautiously approached her as he took in the sights of her and the man that lay on the ground. Anna was staring with wide-eyes at the man that was lying in a growing pool of his own blood on the forest floor. Her chest was rising and falling in a haphazard pattern, and her hands outstretched in front of her with a dagger in her hands. Blood dripped from the dagger and splattered onto the ground.

"It seems that you have everything under control. Are you alright?" he asked but silence answered his question. Her eyes turned to his mixed with a combination of horror and fear and he sheathed his sword. This was not the first time that she had seen bloodshed so why were her eyes shaped like that? "Anna, what happened?"

"I--it's nothing, it's nothing," she murmured to herself and she dropped the dagger that she held in her hands to the ground. "Nothing…"

"It's not nothing," Kratos's voice was harsh with concern. "That man, what did he do to you?"

"He--he had the dagger to my throat," her shaking hands, darkened with blood, came to her throat. "And he tried to--he tried…"

"Don't worry, Anna, the man is gone. Whatever he tried to do to you, he never did. There's nothing to be afraid of anymore. Let's go back to the campsite, perhaps some tea will help to calm you," Kratos reached forward to gently grasp her hand.

"Let go of me!" Anna screamed as she snapped her hand from his grasp. His eyes widened in surprise and he felt shock course through his system. She had never done that before. Her features changed from horror to sorrow quickly. "I'm sorry. I just--I'm just kind of shaken up, that's all. We should be getting back, some tea sounds kind of nice right now."

Kratos frowned. There was something deeper troubling her, and he knew that he could help her. He needed to protect her from whatever it was that made her look as she did before.

"What's wrong?"

"I--I told you already, I'm just kind of shaken up."

"It's more then that. Did he do anything to you before you could--"

"No, no, he wanted to but he never got the chance," she gave a hollow laugh and the concern mounted inside of himself. "I used that defence thing you taught me before, just in case someone did something like that. He didn't touch me."

"Then what's the matter? Why are you acting like this?"

She turned her head away from him, and she whispered with a trembling lip. "It's Kvar."

"Where is he?" Kratos' voice rose and he glanced about the darkened trees for any sign of the man that he so despised. He did not know how Kvar could come, slip through his defences and take Anna from him but Kratos did not care as anger clouded his mind. He chanced a glance at her and she looked at him through eyes that glistened in the starlight with tearstains which marred her face shining in that same starlight. She remained silent, staring at him through those pleading and horrified eyes. This sight made his anger intensify. "Anna, tell me where he is."

"Everywhere," she answered, moving her arms in the air and unleashing a bitter laugh. "He's everywhere."

"That's impossible."

"No it's not," she gave a hollow laugh, yet again and Kratos' concern deepened. "It's really not. He's always with me, everywhere. When my eyes close, all I see is him and when I dream…all I dream is of him. He's everywhere to me."

His grip on his blade relaxed and he sheathed it. Whatever had happened, somehow he doubted that Kvar was anywhere near them, at least not physically. Anna was unwell and if Kvar was the one that troubled her then his resolve to help her solidified inside of himself. Kratos grasped her arms and brought them down as he leaned down to look at her. In the depths of her eyes revealed a turmoil and anguish that he had and from her behaviour he did not want to believe that it bridged on insanity.

"What do you mean?" he said softly, holding her arms as gently as he could but she tore away from them.

"What do you think?" Anna whispered harshly. "What do you think I've been thinking ever since I met you? You think I could've just forgot about him," she laughed yet again and Kratos cringed. This was not the laughter that he was used to hearing from her. It was different. Tainted. Bitter.

"I never said that. What he did to you was unforgivable."

"What he did to me," somehow this increased Anna's deluded mirth. "You don't know half of what he did to me. You don't even know at all. You never asked."

The truth inlaid in the words hit him hard. He had never asked, yet he never before wanted for her to relive painful memories to satisfy his own curiosity. It had seemed cruel, but if she had wanted him to then he would not deny her wish.

"I'm asking now," Kratos said after his pause. "Let me know what he did to you, tell me all of what troubles your mind. Tell me all he's done to you."

"Why should I?"

"You're not being fair," Kratos said reproachfully. "I asked you what he's done and now you don't want to tell me."

"So what if I am? What if I don't want you to know what he did to me? What I let him do to me," emotion was again rising in her voice and Kratos did not dare reach out physically to comfort her as he yearned to. "What I felt…"

"You're scaring me," he admitted. "I heard your scream and you weren't in your bed. And then I find you like this with a dying man that attacked you and now here you are acting mad and talking of Kvar despite the fact that he isn't here," Anna stared at him through those same eyes glimmering in the moonlight. "Is he?"

"No, not right now, but I feel like he's with me, I feel--I feel so…" Anna broke off and turned her gaze downcast. "I'm so sorry Kratos. I'm so sorry for everything I said just now. It's just that--when I think about what that man wanted from me it makes me feel so…so…sick. Men make me feel so sick."

"Do I make you feel sick?"

"What?" she asked as she stared at him through wide eyes, with the nearly dried tearstains glimmering in the light of the moon and stars.

"Do I make you sick? You said that anytime the thought of a man touching you made you sick," he reached for her hand and squeezed it. She did not pull away and he was pleased. "Do I?"

"You used to," she admitted softly. "But not anymore, not when I figured out that you weren't going to do anything to me. I just--before, well, it's just…it's so complicated."

"I know," Kratos said softly, his tone laced in concern and a gentleness that mirrored the emotions that rose through him. She needed him, that much was clear, and now she was finally opening up to him. "I understand. Being--"

"You don't understand. This is something that no man could ever understand," Anna sounded as she did before and Kratos waited. Perhaps she needed to unleash what was entrapped inside of herself. "Have you ever been afraid to close your eyes at night because of the dreams that you had were you relive the moment? Have you ever felt so sick if you ever thought of a man touching you?"

Kratos' eyes were wide with realization and he did not respond. _That_ was why she was acting like this. _That _was why she was not herself right now and that was why that man affected her so even though she had disposed of him so quickly. It all made sense now. A mixture of anger and concern at both himself for not knowing and at Kvar for the deeds that he had done to her.

"I knew it. You don't understand. How could you? You can't. And you know what the funny thing is? I started to enjoy it…a part of me started to like what that perverted bastard was doing to me because it always happened because--because…I don't know why!"

"Anna, stop this. I know that I can't understand but listen to me," Kratos said, and he brought his hands to her shoulders to steady her. Her eyes whipped to his own. "It doesn't matter what you felt then, you were forced to do things I don't want to think about. It sounds like you're talking like it's your fault and it's not. None of this is your fault."

"But it must be my fault, he kept on saying that it's my fault. Like if I didn't look a certain way, then he wouldn't have done it and if my genes couldn't fit the Angelus Project then he wouldn't need to make me suffer more then any other human there," her features were shaped in sorrow and new tears were forming and falling from her eyes. He took his hand and brushed the tears away with his fingers.

"Shh, this isn't your fault. It's all over now, Kvar is not here and he'll never hurt you like that again. You're with me now, you're safe now," his voice was soft and soothing and he brought his hand to cradle her head, and brought his other arm about her. Her warmth pervaded him and he softly caressed her cheek with his thumb. "It's alright, everything is alright now."

"I was so scared tonight. Not just because of that man," Anna whispered to him, and her eyes were softened and held no horror that they had before. "I had a dream. No, not a dream, more like a nightmare."

"It was about Kvar, wasn't it?" he said as he tightened his hold about her. His power to help her and change her mood was growing and the protective side of him was pleased.

"Y--yes, it was. They always seem to happen when I don't want them to."

"I'm sorry that I never knew."

"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault, I didn't want you to know. I thought if you did know that you'd--you'd…"

"Don't worry about me, Anna. All I want is for you to forget about all that Kvar's done to you, but I know that's impossible," he brought both arms about her and drew her closer, feeling her warm arms draw about his own body. "Just remember that I love you and--"

"How can you say that when I'm dirty? Why would you still want me?" Anna said softly and he felt her breath grow more ragged against his chest.

"Don't talk like that. I love you," he said firmly and he brought his hand to her cheek and gently caressed it. "Whatever he did to you, it only makes me hate him more. Don't think that it would make me love you any less."

"Why would you love a woman that's been used so many times by such a horrible man."

"He's no man," he said in vehemence, but as her eyes bore a sad expression his softened and he brought a hand to hers. "A man would never do something like that to a woman like you."

"You mean you still love me."

"Of course."

"I--I thought that you wouldn't--"

"But I do."

Anna's eyes were shaped in such intense emotion, more then he was used to her holding and he felt her grip about him tighten.

"Thank you," she murmured and her eyes glistened in tears. "Thank you so much. I feel like I can finally move on. I feel free."

"I'm glad," Kratos said as he moved closer to her face. "You shouldn't be captured by the past, even if it is one filled with such horror."

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_A/N Reviews are delightful. Happy early Halloween! Candy is delicious and Halloween is the day of candy.  
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